This morning I have read three articles on the same topic. One made me want to cry. After some reflection I want to cry for her…. One made me want to be the writers friend, because she is so sassy. All three articles are worth a read. I don’t agree 100% with any one them, but it is amazing how much shame is pushed on us for making certain parenting decisions I have many different types of friends. Politically, spiritually, and relationally. (Is that a word?) I want you to read this is you are male, female, queer, or other. Mom, dad, new parent, grandparent, or never want kids. Read these to see into (yet another) underlying conflict our society has and maybe it will give you some insight into how that new or expecting mom feels that works or stays at home. The titles and articles/ blogs are linked below. **I am doing my best not to justify my own decisions and opinions or insert them to make anyone feel one way or another. I understand where each author is coming from. But two of the three are pretty mean. Whether it be towards a specific group of mothers or towards one specific author. If you know me you probably know how I would feel about each of these, but my main point is; lets lift our neighbors up, not tear them down. What I would want you to take away or what I am thinking about is: one, why is there hate for certain types of mothers? Two, no one ever asks these questions about dads. Three, why can’t we support one another in this parenting journey? It takes a village and not all village people will do it all the same, and that’s okay. Dear Daughter, Here’s Why I Don’t Work Dear Daughter, Here’s Why I Work Dear Everyone: Here’s Why I Don’t Want to Read Your Crappy Opinions on What Mothers Should Do What emotions did these bring up for you? Did any of these make you feel more confident as a person or parent? Did you realize this was something your co-worker or friend could be dealing with?
I wanted it to be a surprise. The gender.
Let me just warn you that everyone assumes you know what you are doing when you are having a baby. I had an appointment with the ultra-sound technician. They don’t give you instructions. It is not “lay down, expose your stomach, and I will get you a sheet to cover up.” It was “lay down on the bed.” I had never met or worked with her before. So I just have to assume she wants me to yank up my dress as she shuts the door to the waiting room…..
Anyway. The door shuts and she gets me a sheet to cover up (since I wore a dress) she starts to look for baby.
I wasn’t excited about the gender until she said “it looks like a boy.” I immediately realized that our baby boy would have a baby boy to play and grow up with on both sides on our family. My aunt has an infant boy and my sister in law is due a few months before us and is expecting a boy.
J doesn’t have brothers. I don’t have brothers. We are so excited to have a little boy! Now to pick out the name…..